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6 Self-Care Tips to Keep You Thriving Through the Holidays

It’s so hard not to feel stressed during the holiday season. 6 Self-Care Tips to Keep You Thriving Through the Holidays - Balanced Rocks

We do our best to maintain our regular everyday lives as well as keep up with the hustle and bustle of shopping, buying and wrapping gifts, planning and cooking meals, going to parties, addressing holiday cards and standing forever in that long line at the post office.

This is a perfect recipe for overwhelm and burn out.

But you can eliminate a lot of stress and transform this hectic time into a peaceful, enjoyable and meaningful experience with these 6 easy tips:

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Fear of Flying and EMDR Therapy

Fear of Flying and EMDR Therapy“My family was flying from San Francisco to Mexico when we hit severe turbulence. We were told to put our head between our legs. But I was only 6 years old. My legs didn’t even reach the ground, and it was hard for me to put my head between my legs. I was so scared. I remember watching my tears run down my legs as I did my best to get into the right position. And I thought I saw the flight attendant run toward the cockpit with a manual for the pilot on how to fly the plane.”

This is the memory of a woman named Nancy who experienced a traumatic flight when she was 6 years old. Since that experience, she had been unable to fly without either the comfort of her protective father (when she was young) or antianxiety drugs (when she was older). Her preference had been to avoid flying altogether.

Anyone who’s afraid to fly knows how seriously this fear impacts their lives. Like Nancy, if they’re in a situation where they have to fly, they can only get through the ordeal by taking antianxiety medication, which often doesn’t work. Either way, they spend the entire flight (and sometimes days before) in extreme fear.
To avoid the extreme discomfort and anxiety they feel when flying, people who are afraid to fly often avoid their fear by severely limiting their lives. For instance, they will:

– Never fly at all and only travel by car, bus or train.
– Never take a job that requires travel.
– Never visit loved ones who live a long distance away.
– Only take vacations within driving distance.

They also often have to suffer through arguments with partners, friends or family members who want to travel and don’t understand their fears.

So, is there a way to help people who suffer from fear of flying?
Continue reading Fear of Flying and EMDR Therapy

Developing Your Authentic Voice Or My Famous Bread Story

DEVELOPING YOUR AUTHENTIC VOICE OR MY FAMOUS BREAD STORY

“What kind of bread do you like?”

I was at the grocery store with friends. We were vacationing together in Hawaii. And when I was asked, “What kind of bread do you like,” I replied as I normally did at that time in my life.

“I don’t know. What do you like?”

Now, of course I knew what kind of bread I liked; I like brown bread with as many nuts an seeds as possible. So why didn’t I say that? I was in graduate school at the time and was certainly old enough to speak up for myself and state my preferences.

But I didn’t.

And it took several years of psychological work before I uncovered and expressed my preferences, truth, opinions and authentic voice. About bread and a lot more.

Why Don’t We Speak up for Ourselves?

Most of us came from families where we weren’t encouraged to speak honestly and genuinely about our feelings, needs or wants. In fact when we did, love was withdrawn (we were abandoned) and we were shamed, abused or punished. We were met with responses like:

“Don’t cry or I’ll give you something to cry about!” “Boys don’t cry.” “Keep your voice down!” “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” “You don’t feel angry you’re just tired.”

Continue reading Developing Your Authentic Voice Or My Famous Bread Story

Autobiography In 5 Chapters

Every year I send my clients, friends and families a selection of quotes I’ve found inspiring or insightful. While I like to think all the quotes I find are pretty wonderful, there was one in particular that seems to always generate a lot of responses. It’s called “Autobiography in 5 Chapters.”

Here it is:

1)  I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost . . . I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Continue reading Autobiography In 5 Chapters